"IF YOU LOVE ME, YOU WILL CLEAN MY HOUSE"

Here are the hobbit houses.  When I lived in Philly they had these houses that were called Father, Son And Holy Ghost.  They were litterly three stories with a ladder like stairs that went to each floor.  These were very old houses, probably the 1700's.  I never actually got to go to one, which is ashame, but I knew they were not large enough for us.  But I did live in a 1700's house.  It was very narrow because back then the property tax was based on how wide your house was.  They were deep but not too wide.  Anyway these little hobbit house that I made remind me of those three story houses.

 Here is my Dragon Cloth.  This is a slow cloth that I am working on for a panel to go on a blanket for my son.

I heard about a lady that told her young children that if they wanted to show her how much they loved her they would stop clinging to her and clean her house.  I always thought this was rediculous, because kids have so many needs, but understood that  she had physical problems that caused close contact to be painful.   This morning, even after all the flowery words of yesterday I felt like this too. 


So what did I do?  I did my morning pages and complained.  Then after complaining, I decided to write a story about a girl who felt she was doing it all.  "Woe is me."  I think what planted the seed to my story was this video about story writing.  I thought maybe if I write about myself in third person as a character I could get some clarity about the situation.



After I had exhausted that angle, I took out my tarot deck and drew four cards.  The cards were Adjustment...(surely things are not feeling very balanced)...Debauch (hmmm am I really wallowing in a pool of self pity?)...The Aeon seeing the whole picture both relationship and career in the space of time or history (or house management)...and Ruin (ouch, is all my motivation clouded by fear?)

I continued to write the story about the girl but this time through the actions that were suggested by the cards and the positive results that would be the outcome of those positive actions.

I found this little exercise transformed my thinking and made me realize that although things may not change in the next 24 hours that given time maybe 7 weeks or 7 months, change is possible.  I am Celebrating the idea that actions make a difference.   I may not realize all of my dreams or wants but I will realize personal transformation and growth.  And maybe in that growth some callouses that make me less sensitive.